leisure

Top Down, Cruising in My Own Lane: Rent-Free Poems in my Head Day 3

Posted by Sandhya on

Hello rockstars, 

Welcome to Day 3 of “Rent Free Poem” Week. In honor of my entire Instagram FYP being various poems, and in honor of Tay’s new album: The Tortured Poets Department, I decided once a day this week I’m going to pick a poem that’s been living rent-free in my head and write about it. For this, I have to channel all my 10th-grade English reading comprehension skills, but sadly there are no SparkNotes for these poems. So here is me, taking my shallow take on deep poems and hoping I can half-as-eloquently describe how these beautiful pieces of writing made me feel. 

Past Rent-Free Poems: 

Top Down, Cruising in my Own Lane, by Lyndsay Rush

I slip the Do Not Disturb sign 
onto the doorknob of my life
I’ve got important work to do:
Minding my own business
Accommodating my whims
Guarding my joy;
nose buried in the story
              only I can tell

This short but sweet poem is the epitome of “I’m staying in my lane” which naturally the poet feels as well based on her title. I love driving metaphors because I feel like any situation can be analogized to driving – I might think that because I love driving). It’s the first line of the poem for me “I slip the Do Not Disturb sign onto the doorknob of my life.”

Now I’m in a daydream again. I’m in a luxury hotel sitting in my room with the robe and happily about to devour my room service – expensive fruit on waffles, the seasonal juice, probably some fancy pastry on the side that I can’t pronounce because it’s European and way more sophisticated than the usual Nutella sandwiches I eat as dessert. Of course, the do not disturb sign is on the door, and I’m not pressed. I don’t have to rush through the breakfast to get somewhere and I don’t have other responsibilities or to-dos bogging my mind – I’m just, for lack of a better word, vibing. The windows are open and it’s my favorite weather – cloudy, 70s, with a warm breeze. Maybe I have a cabana booked for later, maybe I’ll go for a long walk around the hotel, maybe I have a coffee-tasting tour… or maybe I’ll just stay in the hotel room and hang out with my fancy food and my happiness.

When my mind thinks of “important work,” rarely is it focused on myself. Someone says “important work” and I immediately think something is due for a client, or there’s some big project I need to work on, or something that entails a lot of late nights and early mornings. If someone told me that the “important work” was taking care of herself, focusing on herself, minding her own business, not getting bogged down by other people’s thoughts, whims, opinions, BS… the corporate sellout part of me would say “Wow, that’s so froufrou” but then another voice in my head would say “Wow, she’s figured it out” dripping with envy.

Because what is more important than ourselves and protecting our happiness and our well being?

In yesterday’s post when I was talking about the daydream of my ideal life, I said “I would do the things I want to do simply because I want to do them, not because it’s expected of me, and not in between all the other responsibilities and chores that I have” because that to me, is a real luxury. 

But here’s the reality: no one is stopping me from doing that now. I used to spend so much of my life concerned and wondering about what other people think of me, how I’m being perceived, whether I’m fitting into the mold that other people have created for me … and all I can say now is, who cares?? 

I was watching an Instagram reel a few weeks back and it was a 90-second reel but I could only get through the first four seconds before I got angry and crossed it out. There was a girl that started talking and said “Do guys like it if girls don’t wear makeup-” and that’s all I could get through because I audibly said “Oh my god WHO CARES” and crossed it out. The entire video could have been a commentary on exactly why we shouldn’t care, but I’ll never find out. 

This I feel really strongly about – do whatever makes you happy, seriously. Paint the walls of your bedroom the wild color that you want, go ahead and skip in the halls (I do), buy yourself flowers, host events and parties with fun and outlandish themes, wear makeup if you want to wear makeup and don’t wear makeup if you don’t want to wear makeup, but don’t do it for other people, do it FOR YOU.

You know who does things they want all the time and what makes them happy without any care in the world? Kids. And I love that. Honestly, though, the kid-Sandhya admiration is a mutual one because I can’t go to any store without a baby getting fascinated and smiling/waving at me (my theory is that it’s my big eyes; they think I’m one of them). 

But kids do whatever they want — they wear fun, crazy, and impractical outfits when they go out, they do cartwheels randomly, and they say the funniest things. They don’t do things for other people, they do it for themselves. Most of us used to do that too – when did we stop??

A few weeks ago I was at a café with my friend, and as we were leaving there was an older sister (teens-early 20s) and a young boy (maybe 8?) at the table next to us. The kid read on his orange juice “Shake well” and so he started dancing and waving the juice bottle around dramatically. The sister was like “Oh my god stop it, we are in public!!” but I literally could not stop laughing. Then she turned to me and said “I’m so sorry” and I’m like “please don’t apologize!!”

It’s so funny because 10 years ago, I would have been that older sister – so concerned with other people and doing things calmly and doing the “right thing” but you know what? Life’s too short so do what makes you happy. Accommodate your whims. 

So now, I’m doing the important things: I’m staying in my lane (“minding my own business”),  doing what makes me happy when I feel like it (“guarding my joy”), and focusing on me (“nose buried in the story only I can tell”). 

And please don’t miss the sign on the door; it says Do Not Disturb. 

Thank you for joining me in my first rent-free poem week! 

Until next time!

xo

Sandhya

If you want to join me to do more rent-free poetry weeks or you want to join me while I go through my 28th year around the sun, then please click the follow or subscribe button! Feel free to connect with me through this platform, twitter, my coffee and checkins Instagram, my podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or Amazon Music, or email me at coffeeandcheckins@gmail.com! If you have any suggestions for topics or anything you’d like me to write about, please let me know🙂❤