Miss me, sweet friends?

It’s been such a long time, and I remember when I used to blog multiple times a week, or even multiple times a month. Now it’s been so long and I fear that some of you may have forgotten I exist. But me, I never forget all of you and all the love you continue to give me! The real problem is that the inspiration hasn’t hit. In an ideal world I’d be full of ideas of what to blog about, full of ideas of what to podcast about, full of creativity. In the real world, I know I’m itching to write, but don’t know how to formulate words in a poetic way. Most of my typing these days is rants and legal writing, with little room of “how can I be my best self today?”

This week inspiration struck though, finally. Though initially triggered by the election results, there’s been this lingering — the where do we go from here, how do I get through this, how do I plan for the future, how do I not spiral?

I’m no expert, but it started Wednesday afternoon. I was feeling low and one of the partners at my firm called me to see how I was doing. After checking in and him assuring me that things “won’t be as bad as we think they’ll be,” I already felt a lot better and my doom-scrolling spiral turned into a “okay I can get through this.”

There’s a wonderful thing I heard:

“The attitude that helps most with intense stress is not mindfulness. It’s hope. In hard times, it’s overwhelming to live only in the present. What brings strength is anticipating a brighter future. Resilience lies in remembering that today’s burdens may be lighter tomorrow.”

And mindfulness, I have down, at least when I meditate. I know how to calm myself, get into a place of zen, and enter a realm of relaxation. Breathe deep, listen to some calming music, say 5 things you’re grateful for, and know that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

But hope is harder. Ted Lasso said it correctly “So I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. “It’s the hope that kills you.” Y’all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you.”

In this week of hopeless despair, I’ve been thinking: how do I create hope? I spent this week with a lot of support — my best friend/roommate came back from a long trip and it has been really nice co-existing with her, I poured my heart out to multiple people I deeply care about in an act of vulnerability and courage, I spent some time with my parents, and I’ve spent a lot of one-on-one time with my brother. Between going shopping, buying lots of food, and laughing at old memories, I slowly started feeling normal again.

But the hope came back strongly yesterday evening. My brother and I went to a pizza place we love for late lunch/early dinner. You know when you’re enjoying a meal and for the first 10 minutes you don’t say anything because you’re just so busy eating? That was us.

But then we had the classic college-moment, when a stranger comes up to you and says “HI, I’ll be right back, are you able to watch my stuff?” and they point to the table next to you with their valuable stuff sitting on it. You nod of course, and you protect this person’s stuff as if your life depends on it.

“Hey stranger, could you watch the things over there at that table that belong to me, a stranger, and keep them from being stolen from other strangers?”

It’s such a funny interaction if you think about it. To put your complete trust in a stranger, simply because they look nice, or trustworthy, or like you can count on them. And if you’re the person tasked with such a big responsibility, you take full ownership over it and think “yes, I won’t let this stranger down.”

There are so many more moments like that, when you have moments of kindness with a stranger. When you’re at the grocery store and you can’t reach the top shelf so someone comes over to help you with it without you asking, when the person in front of you in the coffee shop pays for your order with no ulterior motive, when a woman stops you to tell you “I just had to tell you that I love your outfit.” In a tumultuous time with divisive moments, people still want to trust other people, they want to be accepted, understood, and respected. There are moments of pure bliss we get to experience every day: when you see someone meeting their partner’s friends for the first time and the friends are so excited or when a baby meets your gaze and breaks into a smile but won’t break eye contact. And these are just the moments we experience with other people. What about when you find money in your pocket, when you get all green lights when you’re driving, or when you make a perfect cup of coffee?

I don’t really know how to cultivate hope, but I think it begins with kindness and gratitude. So maybe today go and be extra nice to someone, or multiple people. Like Ted Lasso I believe in hope, and I believe in all of us.

Until next time!

xo

Sandhya

Please join me while I go through my 29th year around the sun, then please click the follow or subscribe button! Feel free to connect with me through this platform, twitter, my coffee and checkins Instagram, my podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or Amazon Music, or email me at coffeeandcheckins@gmail.com! If you have any suggestions for topics or anything you’d like me to write/speak about, please let me know🙂❤