“So, what do you do?” 

They expect me to talk about my profession and my source of income. They expect me to name my job and career as if it explains my entire identity. And I, like a fool, give them exactly what they’re looking for: “Oh, I’m a lawyer!”

But what I really want to say is this:

I move mountains for the people I care about. I compliment strangers. I buy large, complicated LEGO sets that I’m genuinely excited to build even though I have absolutely nowhere to display them. I try my best to save plants – never my own, but if someone asks me to water or rescue theirs, a green thumb I never knew I had suddenly appears because someone is counting on me.

I take basic pictures in front of the Disney and Hogwarts castles. I buy the most expensive coffee on the menu without trying because I always order a large latte or chai, an extra shot, oat milk, and whatever seasonal flavor exists that day. I leave parties early if someone I care about at work texts me saying they need advice and need to talk.

I fall asleep wrapped like a burrito in my blanket and somehow kick it onto the floor in the middle of the night. I get irritated when I’m overstimulated and people talk to me at the same time from multiple directions. I can’t help but buy cute earrings when I see them.

I use the library instead of buying books to support my Mom, because she works there. I learn about network services and satellite technologies so when people ask, “Where does your Dad work?” I can properly explain his brilliance. I procrastinate, and I really need to be better about cleaning my room and my closet.

I try to meditate most days but tend to forget when I wake up, instead remember a few minutes after scrolling my phone and then realize better late than never and put my phone away and do a 10 minute meditation. I get excited about hobbies I don’t make enough time for and wish I did. I’ve made physics my favorite science subject so when Sid tells me about the lasers in his lab, I can actually follow along. I make a fool of myself in public when I’m feeling safe (like sitting around with my family) and posing like a Zara Model with my cup of tea. 

I lie to my dentist and tell him I’ll definitely start flossing when he says not doing it is the source of all my problems (okay, Doc). I am extremely susceptible to marketing and currently have five different brands of shampoo in my bathroom. I adore cozy nights and girls’ nights in; especially with the friends who stop by just to check on me when I’m more stressed than usual. I love mornings (like today) when I’m drinking coffee, eating my mom’s food (daal paranthas!!), and blogging. 

I wish I could wear bangles and Lengha blouses with jeans in everyday life. I decide whether I like someone based on their energy—how they treat people beneath them, their subordinates, and those with less than them. Once my gut says, nah, don’t trust this person, there’s no coming back. I go to the same garden over and over again because there is a peace I feel at Longwood that I chase in other places.

I reject and challenge every “you need” and “you should,” because only I get to decide my life and what’s best for it. I ask the universe for signs, and when I truly need them, it gives it to me clear as day.

I have many more things I could say. And in addition to all of them, I am also an antitrust lawyer who loves her job and the people she works with.

Asking me what I do is categorization, a quick assessment to make a determination on my life, my accomplishments, whether I attended grad school, whether I have a work life balance, whether you think based on what I said my career is, whether I’m happy or not. 

Don’t ask me what I do: ask me what I dream of, ask me what my favorite things are, and ask me why I wake up in the morning.

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Hey rockstars, I’ve talked before about how to redefine success, and this is the many but not exhaustive list of ways that I am more than my job/career. Think about yours, think about all the things that make you… you, and if you’re feeling brave, then tell me about it 🙂

Until next time!

xo

Sandhya

If you would like to celebrate my 30th year around the sun with me, then please click the follow or subscribe button! Feel free to connect with me through this platform, twitter, my coffee and checkins Instagram, my podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or Amazon Music, or email me at coffeeandcheckins@gmail.com! If you have any suggestions for topics or anything you’d like me to write/speak about, please let me know🙂❤