Do you ever just wake up from a nostalgic dream and you’re overwhelmed with an, almost sad, nostalgia? That was me today.
I had a dream that I was talking to one of my friends from elementary school and she made a comment about how we used to play soccer together and how I was super shy as a kid. The second part is true, the first part is not
I did play soccer! But I wasn’t on the same team as the girls at school – who all played together for years. And right at this moment I started thinking back to being in 4th grade and having “field day” on the soccer field at school.
That was almost 17 years ago, which is crazy to me because I don’t really feel that old?? But elementary school was so long ago. Amazingly enough, I remember ES like it happened fairly recently. I’m sure some of these memories are blurred, and to an extent, I’m largely remembering the big moments that impacted me, but there were a lot of ordinary moments there too.
Moments like “I wish I played soccer with them” – which is a ridiculous thought because I loved the idea of soccer but could not follow through on the execution. The orange slices at games I loved, the actual practice, I did not.
My parents worked hard to make sure I was a well rounded kid, and they also put me in every impulsive activity that I wanted to join – soccer, ice skating, tap class, basketball, gymnastics… In later years they paid for club volleyball… To be honest, none of those really panned out. I still love watching some of these sports, and I love playing them in theory (except ice skating and volleyball which I still enjoy).
But yesterday, I signed up for Law Clerks softball team. Me!! Me, Ms. “I don’t do team sports” which isn’t really by design, just the way that my sports history of late has gone. I prefer the singularity of swimming, boxing, working out on my own, yoga in my basement, meditation in my bedroom.
It’s been some time that I’ve been on a team sport. Luckily it’s just for fun and I’m 99% sure that everyone grew out of their “JUST PASS IT TO ME AND I’LL DO IT” aggression in middle and high school gym class.
So I don’t know, here goes nothing. Maybe I’m living out my childhood nostalgia of consistently being on a sports team (though again. That was by choice because I dropped out each time on my own volition) or maybe, it’ll remind me of the many outdoor gym classes in elementary school when we played kickball! Most likely, this will just be another complicated sports memory that I remember in 17 years
I mean, I partly joined because we get team shirts, but mostly I joined because it’s time to be brave, and it’s time to do things that I may not otherwise do because I’m scared.
So cheers to trying new things
Let’s all hope that all the other law clerks are forgiving when I a) Don’t hit the ball, b) If I do hit it, can’t run fast enough to get to the bases, or c) Maybe… Sit half the games out
Until next time!
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