Hello sweethearts and lovers!

It’s time for my annual Valentine’s day post. I shall begin with a shameless plug to all my old blog posts (as one of the partners at my firm says, a plug isn’t worth it if it’s not shameless). Here we go: see 2016, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, and 2023.

Enjoy reading my past posts to understand my complicated feelings about this holiday. Last year Valentine’s Day was sweet – Valentine’s weekend was my best friend’s engagement party and I definitely hardcore partied at that, but actual Valentine’s Day was eating sushi with Katie and watching When Harry Met Sally. 

My feelings about Valentine’s Day this year are actually really mixed. 

Up until yesterday, I was actually 100% excited and not nervous, but then I started getting really nervous… I think inherently this holiday is a really stressful one with or without someone – it’s a holiday that, maybe not through any intention, just makes you feel bad. I think years with a valentine are mad stressful – the stress of having a good time, for it to be perfect, will you give the same level of gift as your valentine gives, will he get you flowers and a card and chocolate, did he plan a fancy dinner date out, do you have the correct outfit for whatever surprise he has planned… Side note, this year, I have the perfect red skirt for Valentine’s Day. It’s a wine mini skirt with a train and if I wear it with a black crop, I look like I’m the perfect main character of a romcom… 

And then years without a valentine are equally stressful. And guess what, I have enough stress in my life. I need seamless, I need romantic gestures, I need acts of service, and I need straightforward. 

Call me up and tell me “Sandhya, I know this is out of the blue, but you are all I think about. My feelings for you are always in the back of my mind. You are absolutely wonderful and deserve the absolute best. I may not be the best right now but I’m working on it because you deserve better from me, and I’m going to show you, starting right now, that I’m serious about this.” There you go, I gave you the cheat code. That’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl 🙂 But be brave, because it’s 10 seconds of scary but sometimes it really pays off.

Self Love

But seriously, all that aside, it’s the year of Sandhya. I started the “Valentine’s Day self-love” earlier this week, with chocolate-covered strawberries, bouquets of roses, and lots of self-care. I went to a Valentine’s Day pop-up at a Flower Shop this past weekend and bought beautiful flowers, got custom-made earrings, and received a personalized poem by @andrewbuck3t about me and my future meet-cute with the LOML. 

If you need some ideas for self-love, here are some of my ideas: cook a meal at home, take yourself out for coffee, buy yourself flowers, do yoga, get a massage, go to an art class, have a picnic, make chocolate covered strawberries (which I do every year!), take a bubble bath, do something new, be brave, start a new book, dress up, or watch a feel-good movie. Honestly, do whatever makes you happy today.

While I was typing this section, I was sitting at a Nail Salon with my friend Sarah and we’re getting matching Valentines Day-themed manicures, drinking free mimosas, and thriving. Later today I’m getting chocolate lava cake from a local restaurant (because I’ve been craving it and one of my friends was kind enough to track down chocolate lava cake for me), and having free pizza at our office’s Pizza Wednesday (yum!). I also booked an incredible sushi Omakase experience for my birthday in two weeks for me and two of my favorite friends and I think it’s the best way to ring in 29.

Grateful for the ones I love and who love me back

First, the biggest of shout-outs to my sweet family. I was at home last night to see my parents and right at midnight, my parents came and surprised me and my brother with flowers and our favorite chocolates. That’s true love. 

Second are my closest friends, who are patient with me when I’m busy with work, who listen to my same rants over and over again, and have been friends with me for years. You are the true ones and I am honored to be in your life.

Third, unexpected friendships: This is a category of people that whenever I talk to them, they are wholesome and really great people. Specifically, without naming names, I’m thinking of a few people I work with in the DC office of my firm. They’re really kind people and talking to them is the equivalent of drinking a warm cup of tea, very comforting, very warm, and always welcome. Last night I talked to one of these wholesome people and just having a 30-minute conversation about life and work and the pressures of this holiday, immediately made me feel better.

Also, one of my closest friends at my firm told me to come by her office and said “I know you were a little nervous about this holiday this year, so I went and bought you chocolates” and honestly, it’s these small gestures of love that make me so so happy and grateful for all the people in my life. I am obsessed with these chocolates, they came in a beautiful velvet box and they are AMAZING

If nothing else, I want to channel these kind people, and I want to be that person on this Valentine’s Day: I want to share love and be disarming and kind and warm all the time.

Songs on Repeat

There are two songs that are currently on repeat. One of them is Cannonball by Emily James

The second one literally came out at midnight today (Feb 14) and is by a South Asian artist, Rushil, and it’s been on repeat since I started listening to it. If you take nothing else from this post, do me a favor and listen to this song and support growing artists. It’s called Hole in One.

This song makes me feel like I’m falling in love in an old-school way – the way I see my ideal relationship – my photo in his wallet, him writing me love letters, picking me up at my door with flowers, etc. 

Excitement

Honestly, I’m already back to being really excited about this holiday. I woke up today to some very sweet valentine’s day messages and being reminded how loved I am. Real talk, this day puts a lot of pressure on ourselves, our relationships, and our expectations. So please give yourself grace today and be kind to yourself.

If no one has told you yet today, I’m grateful for you, you are deserving of healthy love and relationships, and it’s okay to do what’s best for you. But, maybe, be open to the possibility that things will turn out even better than you could imagine.

And if you ever need someone to talk to about this holiday, or about things in general, my inbox is always open 🙂

Until next time!

xo

Sandhya

If you want me to do more self care or self love blog posts or you want to join me while I go through my 28th year around the sun, then please click the follow or subscribe button! Feel free to connect with me through this platform, twitter, my coffee and checkins Instagram, my podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or Amazon Music, or email me at coffeeandcheckins@gmail.com! If you have any suggestions for topics or anything you’d like me to write about, please let me know🙂❤